WFH Today:
7 a.m. Meditate, watching Fox and Friends. Breathe, still the mind, empty it no differently than do the TV hosts.
7:30 a.m. Organize day’s plan, review yesterday’s, contemplate tomorrow’s. Easy on yourself this early.
7:45 a.m. Brew coffee, scramble eggs, read Twitter, check market opening, recognize non-influence except in coffee, perhaps eggs. Pour room-temperature drink.
8 a.m. Break. Focus on relieving early-day self-loathing.
8:15 a.m. Shower, shave, slip back into pajamas, perhaps into bed, REM sleep.
8:50 a.m. Open laptop tabs: the New York Times, Washington Post, the Globe and Mail, the New Yorker, the Guardian, biv.com. Handy if an opportunity arises to read.
9 a.m. Zoom call to discuss which Zooms can be deferred, postponed, cancelled, outright ignored. Identify Zooms to be contemplated, designate office committee to resolve scheduling conflicts, ask for report by month’s end. Modify Zoom background picture for future calls to seem leaderly. Golf course and Disney backgrounds losing the team. Oval Office, now non-starter.
9:30 a.m. Walk to the street and back home to determine if the weather merits a walk today or whether it would have been better to walk yesterday. Change or plan clothes accordingly.
9:40 a.m. Break.
9:55 a.m. Empty dishwasher.
10 a.m. Fill dishwasher with yesterday’s dishes.
10:10 a.m. Intense, focused period of work to decide on whether yesterday’s plan was viable and merits pursuit.
10:11 a.m. Attempt to locate yesterday’s plan.
10:13 a.m. Twitter beckons. Instagram deserves browsing. Facebook is on the horizon. LinkedIn is worth drilling into. Email needs to be answered. Calls have to be returned. Yes, very soon.
10:15 a.m. Catch up with last night’s PVR’d 100 Best Plays of 2017 in Sports. What a save! What a goal!
10:45 a.m. Ask for password change when Netflix doesn’t upload. Subscribe to Netflix, after all the fuss.
10:55 a.m. Break. Emotionally drained.
11:15 a.m. Inadvertently field call from boss. Note how phone connection is breaking up, can’t hear. Agree under duress to defer Zoom meeting scheduled at 11 a.m. until next week. Pressure!
11:20 a.m. Fill washer.
11:22 a.m. Break.
11:58 a.m. Fill dryer.
Noon: Prepare and eat lunch. Off the grid, thankfully, at last. Work from home, so many cleaning duties.
1 p.m. Plan dinner. Co-ordinate technology to identify restaurant, menu, delivery service, time.
1:15 p.m. Preemptively change WiFi password, suspicious of next apartment’s behaviour.
1:20 p.m. Call internet provider when WiFi fails. Agree to pay overdue bill. Of all things, why didn’t government defer this obligation?
1:30 p.m. Check mail for Amazon delivery. Snail mail, so pre-pandemic.
1:40 p.m. Forgot: read instructions on changing refrigerator temperature. White wine yesterday was a bit tepid. A must-fix. On it.
2 p.m. Join Zoom call to discuss tomorrow’s agenda. Mute audio to accommodate Spotify playlist on Sonos of Metallica playlist. Nothing Else Matters.
2:10 p.m. Order books, no less than 700 pages, to stack under laptop so Zoom calls don’t fixate on double-chin, nasal hair, cobwebs in ceiling corner.
2:30 p.m. Break. Long overdue.
2:45 p.m. Nap. Deserve it.
3 p.m. Call eastern office. They’re gone. Leave voicemail. Slackers!
3:05 p.m. Answer eastern office email, indicating you are available to talk tomorrow but might be in meetings.
3:10 p.m. Schedule meetings for tomorrow, suggesting calls from eastern office may take priority.
3:15 p.m. Watch cached recording of Bonnie Henry. Itemize list of directions, prescriptions, derisions. Watch again, just to feel more self-loathing. Email to friends. Even strangers.
3:45 p.m. Exercise scheduled, but fatigued from all this confusion. White wine readied in appropriately refrigerated vessel.
4:05 p.m. Call Alberta office. Leave voicemail. Slackers everywhere!
4:10 p.m. Open Alberta office email, indicating you are busy dealing with eastern office tomorrow but it can try to reach you.
4:20 p.m. Rush to laundry room to empty dryer. Lingering clothes almost wrinkled. So many tasks!
4:45 p.m. Break. Christ, what a day.
5 p.m. Work overtime to impress team. Leave emails indicating how late you’ve worked, suggesting there is something important to discuss, requesting email tomorrow to arrange time to Zoom.
5:02 p.m. Activate Out Of Office Assistant, indicate only occasionally checking email. Suggest reaching assistant, now on leave.
5:05 p.m. Long day, so much more accomplished remotely. Death To The Office! •
Kirk LaPointe is the publisher and editor-in-chief of Business in Vancouver and the vice-president, editorial, of Glacier Media.
